Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I think I need advice.

There’s this kid, M, who went to the same daycare as Frank until they turned four. He left as they were starting preschool. I breathed a sigh of relief when the kid left, because he is a big kid for his age, and he plays roughly. Frank for some bizarre reason was drawn to this kid like a moth to flame, and he was on the receiving end more than once. It turned out, we were not the only parents happy to see this kid leave; parents started confiding in each other, and pretty much all of us had hated this kid for a couple of years! I also found out that he was quietly asked to go by the daycare director. (She didn’t tell me; another parent did. Turns out, this kid had hurt her daughter, badly enough she had to bring the kid to the doctor, and Mom is a lawyer, and you can fill in the blanks...)

 Hooray, we thought, the kid is gone, and he lives in the next town over, so he and Frank won’t meet up again until high school, and then they probably won’t even remember each other.

So, Frank started playing rugby in a tri-town team, and guess who’s on his team? Yep, M. Now, in the four weeks they’ve played so far, the only times I’ve witnessed the coach really yelling at Frank for not paying attention have been when he’s been goofing around with M. Then, last week, at practice, M grabbed Frank by the head and threw him down on the ground! I actually ran onto the field and helped him up, because he was not moving at first, and we haven’t had rain in I don’t even know how long, so the ground is rock-hard. Frank cried for a few minutes afterwards, and I actually yelled at M. I don’t like yelling at another kid when the parents are there, but M’s mom never said a word, either to her son or me.

I actually sat Frank down after that one, and told him something I never wanted to tell my child, mostly because I know this usually backfires dramatically: I do not want him to play with M. Play together during rugby games, yes, to help the team, but I do not want him fooling around with him before or after. He promised me he wouldn’t fool around with him anymore, but then they fooled around again at last night’s practice, getting yelled at again by the coach for not following directions.

Then, Frank started YMCA daycamp this week. GUESS WHO’S IN HIS GROUP? I swear we are never going to be rid of this kid.
Honestly, after observing him at rugby these last few weeks, I think he could very well have a raging case of ADHD and need medication.  He has incredibly poor impulse control, for example.  But his lack of impulse control is impacting my kid, and it pisses me off, and I just do not know what to do!

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