Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Death in the family

As the title says, we have had a death in my husband's family, someone who Frank was close to.  It fell to me to tell him. You know how, at least once a day, as a parent, you think to yourself, "Man, I really hope I did not screw that one up too badly."? Yeah, that was my moment today.

He cried for about thirty seconds, then told me to go away so he could watch his shows. Two minutes later, he asked if the deceased had felt anything when they died. When I told him no, they just drifted away to be with God, he said okay and went back to his shows.

He has since alternated between being clingy and being downright bitchy and nasty to me all day. For the first time since he was an infant, I truly am at a complete loss as to how to handle this child. Do I reprimand him for his bitchy comments, same as I would any other day, or do I hug him and try to reassure him?  Or neither?  Or both?  Or something else entirely?

I am emotionally drained from trying to keep an even keel for my child. It was harder to do that today than it has been since I had (and recovered from) Post Partum Depression.

Have you ever had to deliver this kind of news to your SPD child? How did they take it?  How was it different from your neurotypical children?

1 comment:

  1. When he's mean, I would say, "I know you're sad and miss so-and-so right now, but you need to remember that our rule is still be nice. Are you mad that she died? I'm mad. I'm mad and I'm sad and I'm confused. What do you think so-and-so would do when she was upset?" Then make up something to distract him unless the deceased had a hobby that you could suggest he try.